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		<title>Top 100 Inspirational Quotes</title>
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		<description><![CDATA[Inspirational Quotes by Henry David Thoreau 1. A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. 2. None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. 3. Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Inspirational Quotes by Henry David Thoreau</strong></font></h2>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://i26.tinypic.com/15gatkj.jpg" width="158" height="199" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">1.</font> </strong>A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">2.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">3.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.</font></p>
<h2><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Inspirational Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson</strong></font></h2>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=24563&amp;rendTypeId=4" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">4.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">5.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We judge of man&#8217;s wisdom by his hope.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">6.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">7.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say&#8221;</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">8.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">9.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">10.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Friedrich Nietzsche Inspirational Quotes</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://members.telering.at/look/Friedrich_Nietzsche_Arthur_Schopenhauer.jpg" width="400" height="250" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">11.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Enduring habits I hate&#8230;. Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits.<br />
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">12.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions&#8211;as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">13.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Albert Einstein Inspirational Quotes</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.einstein-website.de/images/AE-Princeton-um1950.jpg" width="407" height="324" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">14.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">15.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">16.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">17.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">18.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">19.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">20.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts..</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Inspirational Quotes by Mark Twain</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/english/wp_imgs/MarkTwainBed.jpg" width="441" height="363" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">21.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">22.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don&#8217;t mind, it doesn&#8217;t matter.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">23.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it&#8217;s time to pause and reflect.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">24.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">25.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn&#8217;t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Robert Frost Inspirational Quotes</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.abc.edu.sv/blogs/english-8a/robert%20frost.jpg" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">26.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The best way out is always through.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">27.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">28.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">In three words I can sum up everything I&#8217;ve learned about life: It goes on.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">29.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">30.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.<br />
</font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><br />
</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Inspirational Quotes by Mahatma Gandhi</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.iloveindia.com/indian-heroes/gifs/mahatma-gandhi-indian-hero.jpg" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">31.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">You must be the change you want to see in the world.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">32.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">33.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">34.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">35.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">36.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Man is the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">37.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort. Full effort is full victory.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">38.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world&#8217;s problems”</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">39.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Rabindranath Tagore Inspirational Quotes </strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.knowprose.com/images/library/Tagore.jpg" width="152" align="left" height="205" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">40.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">41.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">42.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">43.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you shut your door to all errors truth will be shut out.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Inspirational Quotes by Swami Vivekananda</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.s9.com/images/portraits/31332_Vivekananda.jpg" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">44.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life &#8211; think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">45.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you are a strong man, very good! But do not curse others who are not strong enough for you. &#8230;Everyone says, &#8220;Woe unto you people!!&#8221; Who says, &#8220;Woe unto me that I cannot help you?&#8221; The people are doing all right to the best of their ability and means and knowledge. Woe unto me that I cannot lift them to where I am!</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">46.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Even the greatest fool can accomplish a task if it were after his or her heart. But the intelligent ones are those who can convert every work into one that suits their taste.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">47.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The only test of goods things is that they make us strong.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Winston Churchill Inspirational Quotes</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://i27.tinypic.com/15nr7gy.jpg" /></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">48.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">49.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">50.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you&#8217;re going through hell, keep going.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Inspirational Quotes by Aristotle</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:_A0R49MA9qXJWM:http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/928/50542871.JPG" align="left" /></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">51.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hope is a waking dream.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">52.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Voltaire Quotes </strong></font></p>
<p><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:VQy6TobVjHXk4M:http://www.memo.fr/Media/Voltaire.jpg" align="right" /></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">53.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Every man is guilty of all the good he didn&#8217;t do.<br />
</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">54.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.<br />
</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">55.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><br />
Michael Jordan Inspirational Quotes</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:uKFqoGm89gRMuM:http://www.sports-photos.com/catalog/images/MichaelJordan3Clr.tif.jpg" align="left" /></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">56.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">57.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.<br />
E. Joseph Cossman</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">58.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Whenever you find whole world against you just turn around and lead the world.<br />
Anonymous</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">59.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.<br />
William B. Sprague</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Inspirational Quotes by Henry Ford</strong> </font></p>
<p><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:duWdDvzVaI5-sM:http://www.americaslibrary.gov/assets/jb/civil/jb_civil_ford_1_e.jpg" align="right" /></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">60.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.<br />
Henry Ford</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">61.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.<br />
Oprah Winfrey</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">62.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.<br />
Goethe</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">63.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.<br />
Zig Ziglar</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">64.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.<br />
Napoleon Hill</font></p>
<p><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>Truman Capote Inspirational Quotes</strong> </font></p>
<p><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:xJBme_A3Zks1lM:http://www.swisseduc.ch/english/readinglist/capote_truman/icons/capote.jpg" align="left" /></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">65.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.<br />
Truman Capote</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">66.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.<br />
Japanese Proverb</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">67.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.<br />
Theodore Roosevelt</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">68.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.<br />
Isaac B. Singer</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">69.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.<br />
Unknown</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">70.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.<br />
Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">71.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.<br />
Unknown</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">72.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined.<br />
Unknown</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">73.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Experience is what you get when you don&#8217;t get what you want.<br />
Dan Stanford</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">74.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.<br />
Hugh Downs</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">75.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you&#8217;re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.<br />
Marie Osmond</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">76.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.<br />
Roy Goodman</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">77.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.<br />
Sid Caesar</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">78.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.<br />
Richard Bach</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">79.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If the going is real easy, beware, you may be headed down hill.<br />
Unknown</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">80.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.<br />
Anatole France</font></p>
<p><strong><font size="5" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Inspirational Quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt</font></strong></p>
<p><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:i1uGEupMimNsZM:http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Eleanor-Roosevelt-Poster-C10006715.jpeg" align="right" /></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">81.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Great minds discuss ideas<br />
Average minds discuss events<br />
Small minds discuss people<br />
Eleanor Roosevelt</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">82.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.”<br />
Eleanor Roosevelt</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">83.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.<br />
Leo Tolstoy</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">84.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The only thing worse than a man you can&#8217;t control is a man you can.<br />
Margo Kaufman</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">85.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.<br />
Richard B. Sheridan</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">86.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I can&#8217;t understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I&#8217;m frightened by old ones.<br />
John Cage</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">87.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.<br />
Richard Bach</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">88.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.<br />
John Wooden</font></p>
<p><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:7xwFL5-My4-_MM:http://members.telering.at/look/Niccolo_Machiavelli.jpg" align="left" /><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">89.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.<br />
Machiavelli.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">90.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”<br />
Elbert Hubbard</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">91.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience.<br />
Elbert Hubbard</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">92.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">“When I hear somebody sigh, &#8216;Life is hard,&#8217; I am always tempted to ask, &#8216;Compared to what?&#8217;”<br />
Sydney Harris</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">93.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do first things first, and second things not at all.<br />
Peter Drucker.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">94.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.<br />
Foster&#8217;s Law</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">95.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We see things not as they are, but as we are.<br />
H. M. Tomlinson</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">96.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom.<br />
Euripides</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">97.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">There is only one success&#8211;to be able to spend your life in your own way.<br />
Christopher Morleys.</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">98.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.<br />
Chinese Proverb</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5">99.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If youth knew; if age could.<br />
Sigmund Freud</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong><font size="5"><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:vqZqHKDrVV4gDM:http://www.endevil.com/images/billhicks1.jpg" align="left" />100.</font> </strong></font><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.<br />
Bill Hicks<br />
</font></p>
<p><font size="4" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Inspiration takes many <a href="http://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/QQ/B/B/X/C/">forms</a>.  Maybe <strong>inspiration</strong> your favorite <a href="http://www.famousinformation.org/Famous-Movie-Quotes.php">movie quote</a>.  Maybe its a <a href="http://www.famousinformation.org/Famous-People-With-Disabilities.php">famous person with a disability</a>.  Maybe you share a <a href="http://www.famousinformation.org/Famous-Birthdays.php">celebrity birthday</a> with one of your favorite <a href="http://ucsdnews.ucsd.edu/thisweek/2006/mar/03_06_seuss.asp">movie</a> stars.  Whatever gets you out of bed in the morning can be considered inspiration.  For the rest of us, its strong coffee and a kick in th pants!</font></p>
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		<title>Top 100 Funny Quotes</title>
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		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;ve always had a strong sense of respect for those who can come up with incredibly deep, and very witty and quotable phrases and observations, this is a great find for you on the web. Here you&#8217;ll find a collection of some of the funniest, smartest commentary on human nature and the world around [...]]]></description>
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<p>If you&#8217;ve always had a strong sense of respect for those who can come up with incredibly deep, and very witty and quotable phrases and observations, this is a great find for you on the web. Here you&#8217;ll find a collection of some of the funniest, smartest commentary on human nature and the world around us.</p>
<p>Twain, Einstein, Nietzsche﻿ &#8211; all genius minds deserving of quotes long into the future. Whether you&#8217;re looking for a witty retort for when you&#8217;re joking with friends over a few <a href="http://www.partypoker.com/">poker games</a> after work or you just love reading the insights and observations of some of humanity&#8217;s most brilliant minds, you&#8217;ll love our top 100 quotes.</p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Albert Einstein Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Albert-Einstein-Young-Magnet-C11750899.jpeg" alt="" /></span></p>
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<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>1. </strong>The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>2. </strong>As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>3. </strong>Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>4. </strong>The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>5. </strong>If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>6. </strong>I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Fredrick Nietzsche Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.worldofbiography.com/0063-Friedrich%20Neitzsche/images/Friedrich%20Neitzsche.jpg" alt="" width="427" height="266" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>7.</strong> In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>8. </strong>A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>9. </strong><span class="body">Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>10. </strong><span class="body">Is man one of God&#8217;s blunders? Or is God one of man&#8217;s blunders?</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>11. </strong><span class="body">Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.</span> </span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Mark Twain Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.richardhenzel.com/twain.jpg" alt="" width="407" height="297" /><br />
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>12. </strong>Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>13. </strong>Don&#8217;t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>14. </strong>I didn&#8217;t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>15. </strong>I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>16. </strong>The man who doesn&#8217;t read good books has no advantage over the man who can&#8217;t read them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>17. </strong>&#8220;Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Voltaire Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong> </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.ymca-coll.edu.hk/history/photo/chapter2/voltaire.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="200" align="right" /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>18. </strong>Prejudices are what fools use for reason. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>19. </strong>If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>20. </strong>Every man is guilty of all the good he didn&#8217;t do.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>21. </strong>No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>22. </strong>The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>23. </strong>It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>24. </strong>There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>25. </strong>Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>26. </strong>Anything too stupid to be said is sung.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>27. </strong>By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>28. </strong>Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers. </span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Plato Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.math.technion.ac.il/~rl/pics/plato.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="200" align="left" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>29. </strong>One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>30. </strong>No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>31. </strong>This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>32. </strong>Courage is knowing what not to fear.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>33. </strong>The measure of a man is what he does with power. </span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Winston Churchill Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://columns.stlcomics.com/tftlof/XX/churchill.jpg" alt="" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>34. </strong>A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>35. </strong>If you are going through hell, keep going.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>36. </strong>The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>37. </strong><span class="body">It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.</span></span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>George Carlin Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.funnycomedymovies.com/george_carlin.jpg" alt="" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>38. </strong>Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>39. </strong>A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>40. </strong>Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>41. </strong>You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>42. </strong>Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>43. </strong>I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>44. </strong>What year did Jesus think it was?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>45. </strong>The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>46. </strong>Atheism is a non-prophet organization.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>47. </strong>“No comment” is a comment.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>48. </strong>If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>49. </strong>The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Steve Martin Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Steve-Martin-pb03.jpg" alt="" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>50. </strong>Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>51. </strong>There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won&#8217;t stand for that.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>52. </strong>Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It&#8217;s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>53. </strong>I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>54. </strong>You know what your problem is, it&#8217;s that you haven&#8217;t seen enough movies &#8211; all of life&#8217;s riddles are answered in the movies.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>55. </strong>First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>56. </strong>Why is it we don&#8217;t always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?<br />
* As Harris K. Telemacher in &#8220;L.A. Story&#8221; (1991)</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Steven Colbert Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/colbertvac.jpg" alt="" width="408" height="272" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>57.</strong> &#8220;To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush&#8230;I feel like I&#8217;m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I&#8217;m a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough&#8230;Somebody shoot me in the face.&#8221;<br />
-Roasting Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents&#8217; dinner</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>58.</strong> On this show, your voice will be heard &#8211; in the form of my voice.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>59.</strong> There’s a phrase we live by in America: &#8220;In God We Trust&#8221;. It&#8217;s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>60.</strong> Folks, the President needs a break. He&#8217;s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can&#8217;t suck.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>61.</strong> I&#8217;ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can&#8217;t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>62.</strong> Now, I don&#8217;t see color. People tell me I&#8217;m white and I believe them because police officers call me &#8220;sir&#8221;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>63.</strong> Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>64.</strong> &#8220;There&#8217;s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>65.</strong> Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Jon Stewart Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://blog.bioethics.net/images/jon_stewart.jpg" alt="" width="415" height="259" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>66. </strong>I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>67. </strong>Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>68. </strong>We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There&#8217;s just one problem &#8211; it&#8217;s in North Korea.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>69. </strong>We declared war on terror—it&#8217;s not even a noun, so, good luck.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>70. </strong>Here&#8217;s how bizarre the war is that we&#8217;re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn&#8217;t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.<br />
Jon Stewart&#8217;s Stand-up performance at RIT, 2005</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Bill Maher Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.getincensed.com/wp-content/uploads/Bill_Maher.jpg" alt="" width="414" height="259" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>71. </strong>Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>72. </strong>I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>73. </strong>Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don&#8217;t need.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>74. </strong>They&#8217;re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that&#8217;s used by ten or more people in a week,<br />
which, I guess, means that Madonna can&#8217;t even smoke in bed.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Jerry Seinfeld Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www1.wsvn.com/images/news_articles/389x205/061216_jerry_Seinfeld.jpg" alt="" width="407" height="214" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>75. </strong>Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little<br />
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>76. </strong>Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them&#8217;s making a poop, the other one&#8217;s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>77. </strong>There&#8217;s very little advice in men&#8217;s magazines, because men don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s a lot they don&#8217;t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, &#8220;I know what I&#8217;m doing, just show me somebody naked.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>78. </strong>Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they&#8217;re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? &#8220;Sweetheart, let&#8217;s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.&#8221; </span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Larry David Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong><img src="http://www.hbo.com/larrydavid/img/castandcrew/506x315_cast_larry.jpg" alt="" width="416" height="260" /></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>79. </strong>Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man &#8211; there&#8217;s your diamond in the rough.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>80. </strong>If you tell the truth about how you&#8217;re feeling, it becomes funny.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>81. </strong>I&#8217;m surprized Hitler didn&#8217;t round up the toupee people.&#8221;</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Dennis Miller Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://southpark.colorado.net/shared/eventscalendar/photos/Dennis-Miller.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" align="left" /><strong>82. </strong>A recent police study found that you&#8217;re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>83. </strong>The average American&#8217;s day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles&#8217;s dart board.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>84. </strong>&#8220;The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.&#8221;</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Jay Leno Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.dsmithz28.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/leno.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" align="right" /><br />
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>85. </strong>Here&#8217;s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like &#8216;Psychic Wins Lottery&#8217;?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>86. </strong>The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn&#8217;t for any religious reasons. They couldn&#8217;t find three wise men and a virgin.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>87. </strong>Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you&#8217;ve met your New Year&#8217;s resolution.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>88. </strong>The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Rodney Dangerfield Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.sportsonline.com.au/images/Products/7108.jpg" alt="" width="196" height="263" align="left" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>89. </strong>My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>90. </strong>Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>91. </strong>I&#8217;m at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>92. </strong>A girl phoned me and said, &#8220;Come on over. There&#8217;s nobody home.&#8221; I went over. Nobody was home!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>93. </strong>Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong><br />
</strong></span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Sarah Silverman Funny Quotes</strong></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><img src="http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/Sarah-Silverman.article.jpg" alt="" width="428" height="239" /> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>94. </strong>When God gives you AIDS &#8211; and God does give you AIDS, by the way &#8211; make lemonAIDS.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>95. </strong>I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.</span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Chris Rock Funny Quotes</strong><img src="http://img.timeinc.net/Life/img/070316/070316170031_rock2_250x355.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="200" align="left" /></span></span></h1>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>96. </strong>Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>97. </strong>I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>98. </strong>If a woman tells you she&#8217;s twenty and looks sixteen, she&#8217;s twelve. If she tells you she&#8217;s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she&#8217;s damn near fourty.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>99. </strong>“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America&#8217;s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn&#8217;t want to<br />
go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named &#8216;Bush&#8217;, &#8216;Dick&#8217;, and &#8216;Colon.&#8217; Need I say more?&#8221;</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>100. </strong>“You won&#8217;t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.”<br />
Chris Rock while hosting the Oscars</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>101. </strong>Gas is getting so expensive I&#8217;m gonna ride a mexican to work.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Check out more <a href="http://boldwords.blogspot.com/">funny quotes</a> here.<br />
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